Holding Space

misty road

Being present.  Being in the now.  Taking space.  Holding space.  Just being.

Not easy, especially for me.  The thing is I’ve come to realise that I’m so very sensitive that when I’m speaking – I spend time thinking and wondering what the other person is thinking about.  I’m so busy watching their facial expressions and interpreting them (often wrongly) and thinking that the other person is judging me or thinking this or that – so I get confused and lost in my own ‘madness’ really.

misty road

But lately I’ve started to practice holding space.  It’s about standing there.  In your own power.  And Being.  It’s like I’m here.  Yes – I said that.  I think that.  That’s my opinion and if the other person wrinkles their nose – well their nose could be itching!  That’s all.  And me not worrying about it and not interpreting it in any way at all.

That’s when you realise that it’s ok to stand in your own space.  It’s ok to have boundaries.  I am over here and you are over there.  That’s it.

Why don’t you try it?  When you are speaking to someone.  Stand or sit up tall.  Take some deep breaths in and out.  Hold space.  Be fully present.  Listen attentively.  Really SEE the other person.  Take in what is around you in the room.  Be alert and give the other person your full attention.  Pause before you speak.  Hold yourself in your power.

It won’t be easy.  You have to make an effort to continue to practice this.  Let me know how you get on by commenting below.

I’m feeling really uncomfortable

Do you know why? 

I spoke up for myself this morning.  Speaking up for myself is something I rarely ever do.  In fact, I almost NEVER do it.  In the past, the ‘story’ has been that whenever I finally speak up – it back-fires on me.  The ‘story’ has been that people don’t like me (and won’t be my friend anymore) when I speak up or they talk about me behind my back.  Tell other people what I said – and then they also don’t ‘like’ me.  Hence I usually just suck it up and keep quiet.  But that’s all Story.  This is Now.  The Present.  Because that is all we really have.


But today, was different.  Somewhere deep inside I have been guided recently to speak up.  And now that I write these words – I remember the words from my guidance last week at a spiritual retreat.  During one particular exercise involving listening to our inner voice, I felt guided to speak up and find my voice – and I realise that I have been tested as this is EXACTLY what has happened today – I’ve not spoken up once – but TWICE this morning – hence the unease.  But now that I am aware that my inner guidance has led me to speak up, I realise that everything makes sense.  It was something I HAD to do.  I NEEDED to do.  And all of a sudden for the first time all day – I feel fine.  I feel good.  I spoke from my heart and I spoke from my feelings – and I’m alright to do that.  

Not only that, it means that I am listening to my inner voice.  My intuition.  And you know what? it’s ok.   All is well.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Ahhhhh.

Coconut & Lime Cake

Today I made a Coconut & Lime Loaf cake.  The ingredients are at the bottom of this blog.  It’s pretty easy really.  The receipie is from Levi Root’s cookbook.  But it tastes ever so good and quite homey.  My husband loves it and even little man enjoys a small slice.  He enjoys it warm from the oven.  All very ‘Emmerdale Farm’ and cosy!

So why do I enjoy baking? I guess because I get peace and quiet whilst I bake, like when I am gardening.  I need to concentrate on measuring out the ingredients and take my time over the mixing.  It good to improvise here and there too, for example today I added vanilla extract to my cake – even though it wasn’t in the recipe.  It’s kind of like using creativity even though in a really small way.




I often use my creativity this way in baking or cooking by improvising with the ingredients – I’ve had so many food intolerances over the years that I have had to.  So there have had times I’ve used wheat free flour, eggless cakes, brown sugar instead of caster sugar etc.

But it’s still a practice.  Practicing creativity.  After all – how do we get to do something different, if not by practicing?  Hence the name Yoga Practice.  One needs to practice the asana’s on a regular basis to get better at them and to also learn from them.

When your silent and concentrating whilst baking (likewise in a yoga or Pilates class); your mind is focused on that activity therefore taking your attention away from the chattering mind.  The myriad thoughts that go round and round and so whilst baking I get the peace of mind that I crave.  And that feeling of contentment inside.  That place of home.  Of joy.

What takes you to that place?

Coconut & Lime Loaf Cake
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  1. 175g (6oz) Self Raising flour;
  2. 1 tsp baking powder;
  3. 175g butter/margarine;
  4. 175g golden caster sugar;
  5. 3 eggs lightly beaten;
  6. 50g (2oz) desiccated coconut;
  7. Zest & juice of 2 limes (I sometimes use 1 - and its fine);
  1. Beat everything together until light and fluffy with an electric whisk/mixer;
  2. Pour into a 2lb/900g loaf tin;
  3. Bake at 180C for 45-55 minutes;
Rosemarie St. Louis http://intuitivegroundedcoaching.com/

StRosemarie X


Blackbird Lyrics

 I liken these lyrics to a few women I know – a beautiful female energy. With broken wings, and sunken eyes – always waiting for their moment to arise.   Needing to take what is broken and learn to use it in the moment.  And sore beautiful.  Sore.


These words are the basis of my logo and my business:  See my post here


Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken  wings and learn to fly

All your life You were only waiting for this  moment to arrive

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken  eyes and learn to see

All your life You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly Into the light of the dark  black night

Blackbird fly, blackbird fly Into the light of the dark  black night

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken  wings and learn to fly

All your life You were only waiting for this  moment to arise

You were only waiting for this moment to arise You were  only waiting for this moment to arise


The Path

winding road

Once you get on this path – that’s exactly how it feels – like you’re on a path– you feel this joy bubbling up inside you as you think about the gorgeous deliciousness! winding road The slight urges in a particular direction.  Oh wonderful! I remember the complete confusion and overload of a year or so ago…there were so many things bouncing around in my head.  I didn’t know where to go, what to do.  I felt unhappy and like there was a cloud and a fog and I just couldn’t see through it.  Then I started to work with a Life Coach.  And I began to realise that we have to be happy NOW – as we are – not in some future that never comes.  I learned that we have to HOLD ourselves in a different ENERGY SPACE.  Think about the person I want to be and FEEL how I want to FEEL on a daily basis. Taking 5-10 minutes daily am and pm or even just at one end of the day to tune in and touch that place.  Feel that place.  Because the truth is we are already all that we aspire to.  If we weren’t we wouldn’t be able to connect to it in the first place.  Its INSIDE. I also began to understand that in order to manifest that which we want, we need to be able to do this from a place of love as opposed to from a place of fear.  Let me repeat that.  In order to manifest the new job, the relationship, money etc., we need to do this from a place of love.  Not from a place of fear.  When we are in fear it means there is something wrong with the job, the relationship etc, and we are not happy and we want to fix it.  To fix something means there must be something wrong with it – with the job or relationship etc., And that means we are focussing on that which is wrong – that which we don’t want.  The Law of Attraction says we get back that which we focus on.  So if we are trying to manifest from a place of “I don’t like this and that and I hate my job” etc., then what are we manifesting?  We manifest more of “I don’t like this and that and I hate this job”.  Makes sense right?  So if we feel cr*p– we get more cr*p back.  If we are feeling good – we get good.  On the other hand, when we manifest from a place of love – we are happy and complete.  We are in a state of acceptance.  We don’t necessarily have to be in a 100% great place but if we just have moments of contentment (as many moments as we can muster) which then lead to feelings which are positive and good and that can take us to an entirely new ENERGY SPACE. For me, I spent so much time attached to the old stories.  But then I started to put what I was learning into practice.  I started to remember to connect to the flow of the Universe and to TRUST.  I started to notice the little miracles.  I started to “get lucky”, I started to feel better – and better !  I started to ‘know’ things were going to happen before they happened. And then I sort of began to REMEMBER – things were always like this when I was growing up…. I started to realise that I couldn’t control outcomes or manipulate the present.  But that was OK.  And no matter how hard I might push and push and try to make sh*t happen – it just doesn’t.  In fact one gets more and more stress and anxiety that way.  And wound-upness. But actually instead, to turn to your Inner Guidance and allow it – your intuition, to lead you in the direction it wants you to go and allowing each step by beautiful step to fall into place.  You will find that magic really does exists – literally.   Now that’s what I’m talking about !

Love /R xx